To mark the launch of our Libertine oil and our series of Instagram live sessions “Pleasure for All”, we met with Juste Quentin, creator of the Instagram account @deconstructionsmasculines to discuss the topics of masculinity and the place of men in our society.
Hello Quentin, can you tell us how you got the idea to create your Instagram account @desconstructionsmasculines?
After the creation of the #MeToo movement , I started to feel that I had to take action on my own level. Being highly sensitive, raised by a woman, I also met many women in my circle who were victims of violence. This developed a certain empathy within me, as well as a certain reflection on the actions I myself could take towards women.
So for the past 3 years I have chosen to radically deconstruct myself, and to share my journey on Instagram to reach young audiences , because they are the ones who will shape the generation of tomorrow.
How to engage in a process of deconstruction when you are a man?
In our society, we are conditioned by numerous stereotypes, clichés, and social constructs that require us to question everything and dismantle all these limiting beliefs. The desire must first come from within to successfully embark on this journey. This involves reading books and listening to podcasts, but also gaining experience in interpersonal relationships, professional life, and personal life.
We must also stop putting up our man's shield, swallow our pride, remain humble and often question ourselves in order to move forward and educate other men around us with pedagogy and kindness.
What are the great male deconstructions to work on today for you?
There are so many topics to cover: sexuality, contraception, parenthood… We draw heavily on feminism and sociological trends to try and simplify things , so that they're understandable to everyone. I also give people the opportunity to take control of my Instagram account for 24 hours to let them speak and express their emotions, which is more impactful and emotional than scientific works that often require knowledge of philosophy or sociology!
Mental health
Mental health is one of the most important topics when discussing the deconstruction of masculinity . Men are taught not to talk about their emotions and feelings, a pattern that is then perpetuated into adulthood. This leads to problems such as depression and addictive behaviors (alcohol, drugs, gambling, etc.).
Mental health is essential because it influences all other aspects of life. If we want greater equality between men and women, we must also accept that men will be more willing to express their emotions and vulnerability in order to avoid a divide.
Sexuality and prostatic pleasure
When discussing the deconstruction of masculinity, one cannot address the subject without addressing sexuality . We must try to detach ourselves from the belief that penetration represents the holy grail of male virility, and that it must be an obligation.
Consider exploring other practices such as anal or prostate stimulation , while letting go of fears, taboos, and preconceived notions related to homophobia, for example. Prostate stimulation is achieved by stimulating or massaging the internal area between the anus and the testicle and can be more pleasurable than penetration.
Ideally, you should start experimenting with this practice alone before discussing your desires with your partner. Tenderness, communication, and a sense of security and trust are essential elements when approaching it with your partner.
Sex load and pornography
In terms of deconstruction, the sexual charge is also an interesting issue to address. We need to stop giving men the power to decide, to stop putting pressure on partners.
We all have our own unique sexuality, with a libido that doesn't always align with that of our partner. Masturbation is a crucial topic in this regard: we need to move beyond the clichés and preconceived notions that masturbation is dirty, or that it should be avoided when in a relationship. Together, we must communicate with kindness, without judgment about each other's needs and without guilt.
Pornography, for its part, raises many questions about the concept of consent . Young boys grow up with a distorted view of sexuality, which they then repeat throughout their lives, which is very problematic. Fortunately, many alternatives to mainstream porn are emerging, such as Erika Lust, for example, to bring more diversity, kindness, and imagination to sexuality and eroticism.
Parenthood and contraception at the heart of male deconstruction
Regarding parenthood and contraception , these two concepts are also central to the deconstruction of masculine norms that need to be addressed. The way we raise children today represents the kind of society we will create tomorrow. This also raises questions about the concept of the mental load within couples , especially for women.
Every man who wants to be a parent should personally deconstruct his beliefs and eliminate limiting stereotypes and gender biases, for example, through games, sports, or creative activities. Men, just like women, must also fight for social progress and to move away from patriarchal society, for example, regarding parental leave.
What are the options for male contraception?
To date there are 4 methods considered effective using the Pearl Index: the condom, vasectomy, the hormonal method and the thermal method.
This method involves lifting the testicles using a brief or ring, which is easy to apply, painless, and has no side effects, and is worn for 15 hours per 24-hour period . The method produces a heating effect on the testicles, the effectiveness of which is measured using a spermogram.
If we still talk about it so little today, it is because men are still mostly resistant to it: it affects virility, empowerment, and undermines the notions of loss of privilege and comfort.
Find Quentin's article on male contraception on Mediapart and on his Instagram account @deconstructionsmasculines.